How Do You Want Your Kids to Address Adults?
ByFirst, I have to apologize for the hiatus. I didn’t mean to take over 2 weeks off from the blog, but the holidays came, and it just happened that way. But I’m back on track now!
Second, happy New Year! I hope you all will have a wonderful 2012!
Ok, now back to blogging 
As most of you know, I live in Virginia. While it doesn’t generally feel like “the South” to me, at times it does feel distinctly different than Pennsylvania, where I grew up. One thing that I’ve found different here is the way in which adults are introduced to children. My friends introduce me as “Miss Jen,” and then their kids call me that. When I grew up, I called all of my parents’ friends Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Johnson. Or, in rare cases of a super-cool adult, I would simply call them by their first name (i.e. Linda or Susan). This whole “Miss Firstname” thing has caught me off guard.
Not that I mind it, really, but if a child wants to call me by my first name, they are welcome to do so without adding the “Miss” in front. Maybe some adults feel that’s not respectful enough. Also, it seems that no one is introduced as “Mrs. Brown” or “Mrs. Drake” anymore. Is that reserved only for more formal settings (like teachers in a classroom)?
What do you think of this convention? I’m assuming it’s a Southern thing, but maybe it’s just a modern way of introducing adults to children. Do you introduce your friends as “Miss Firstname” to your kids or do you just opt for their first name? And when do you introduce an adult as “Mrs. Lastname”? Which do you prefer?
While probably unconventional, Jake addresses our best friends as “Aunt/Uncle Firstname”. This applies to our actual siblings as well as a handful of our best friends, as we are of the mindset that families are both inherits and chosen.
That said, for everyone else, he uses the “miss firstname”. This is what they do at his daycare, and I don’t have feelings either way, so that’s what he does. Actually, while he is very verbal for 18 months, he’s still working on just saying people’s names. We say the salutation, but he probably won’t work his way up to that for a couple more months.
When Ava started talking we introduced people by first name since it was easier to say. I think we’ll probably continue that with our friends that she meets but when she starts to meet her teachers, friends parents, etc, we’ll probably do a more formal “Mrs. Brown”. We’ll see, I think it depends on the situation and the person you’re addressing and what they prefer. Right now most of our friends are more comfortable as “Miss Firstname” so we’re going with it!
I really do not like this convention. For some reason, calling somebody Miss Julie or whatever reminds me of slavery. I feel like slaves called their owners Miss Firstname, so when I hear that now, I’m reminded of slavery. I agree that I wish we would go back to just calling people Mrs. Smith, but I can’t change it all by myself. I generally let my kids call adults just by their first name without the “Miss,” but if feels a little awkward then when other kids call me “Miss Karen.”
I don’t think it’s a Southern thing. I think it is a generational thing. The teacher’s at Reed’s Mother’s Day Out go by Miss FN so that set the precendent for us. His pre-K teacher who is older goes by Mrs. LN. I actually like the Miss FN and think it shows a sign of respect without being overly formal. While I did call adults Mr. or Mrs. LN growing up, it was a really hard adjustment to call them by their FN when I myself became an adult. Also, there are a lot of people I know casually through their school or whatever and I don’t know their LN so it is easier for me to introduce them to my kids as MissFN or Mr. FN.